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From the beauty of Odessa’s opera house to our own mini-stadium: Ed O'Connor

Posted 12/25/19

It seems almost impossible that we are at the end of another year. The season to once again experience and enjoy Christmas and New Year’s with friends and family has arrived.

I would like …

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From the beauty of Odessa’s opera house to our own mini-stadium: Ed O'Connor

Posted

It seems almost impossible that we are at the end of another year. The season to once again experience and enjoy Christmas and New Year’s with friends and family has arrived.

I would like to wish you and your loved ones a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! May 2020 be a very special and blessed time for all of you.

I would also like to say “thank You” for supporting the award-winning Press & Journal in 2019 and for reading my column. Without you, none of this is possible.

I see that the Middletown Area High School mini-stadium needs only $500,000 more mini-dollars, a mini-drop in the mini-bucket. The architects must not have figured in the union’s mini-overtime.

From unconfirmed sources: Dunkin’ Donuts wants to open a location in Middletown, but they are waiting to see if there will still be a police force. They can’t operate without that business.

Travels to Odessa

Wanting to experience what we missed on an August day trip to Odessa, Ukraine, we decided to return for a weekend. We just didn’t know which Biden we had to check with to see if it was OK.

We had made reservations at the Joe & Hunter Biden Hotel & Brothel in Odessa, but nobody could find it. Fortunately, we were able to secure other lodging.

There had been more sightings of Jimmy Hoffa and Elvis than of Hunter Biden.

We departed on a Friday at 7:10 a.m. for a 3.5-hour journey by train. For the first time on any trip, we bought first-class tickets. Why not? Round-trip tickets for the two of us totaled less than $37. But upon boarding we discovered that we had been given second-class tickets. The best laid plans … .

Wonderful! Both ways we got to hear snot-gobblers yelling, bawling, crying, fussing, sniveling and whining. But we got really lucky on the Sunday return trip. There was a holy terror next to us. I was about to remove one of my socks to stuff in the little darling’s mouth.

Odessa is a terrific city and very affordable, with so much to see and do. We wished that we had stayed longer.

One of the highlights of the trip was the tour of the Odessa Opera House (officially the Odessa National Academic Theatre of Opera and Ballet), considered the second most beautiful in the world. Vienna’s edifice is first.

The theater has six levels in which to view performances. In two nights, we saw “The Nutcracker” ballet, and the opera “Turandot.”

There was a big apparel and accessory exposition in Chisinau featuring a fashion show. This was the first one I had ever attended. Models, mostly female, from as young as 3 years old to 20-something adults strutted the runway in the latest accoutrements.

Olga told me that some of the older models were rather attractive. Darn, I should have looked.

More from Eddy O’s world

Let’s see. What else has happened here?

I went to my first cat show. So many beautiful felines. I certainly could have commented on that, but I think my editor would have nixed the comments.

Imagine: Pringles in chocolate! A chocolate company here, Bucuria, makes them. Dark chocolate wafers with chocolate crisps and with caramel pieces. We bought some and they are delicious, especially with wine.

Thirty years ago, neighboring country Romania had a bloody civil war, freeing itself from communist shackles. Finally, they could have freedom and vote. In the November election, only 47 percent of the electorate voted. Memories there must be very short.

And 28 years ago, the Moldovans had a civil war between the pro-West and pro-East factions. In their November elections, the people elected a socialist president and a socialist mayor of the capital city, Chisinau. Go figure.

More fun: A drunken 32-year-old man with mental problems climbed one of the Chisinau high voltage electric towers and threatened to jump. Because of the high power, the current was cut. In the surrounding streets, residents were without electricity and the trolley buses could not operate.

Finally, after a 10-hour standoff, and being cajoled by police, clergy and mental health professionals, the climber entered a bucket truck boom and was safely lowered to terra firma.

Rumor has it that he did this after trying to find, “The Biggest Loser” on TV and accidentally tuned into the Democrat debate on CNN. He couldn’t tell the difference.

Oh, was that the Democrat debate? Heck, I thought the Disney Channel was on for free and I was watching the ‘Seven Dwarfs.” I recognized Sleepy, Dopey and Grumpy — but missed Happy and the other three.

Are you enjoying the continuing Democrat witch hunt game show, hosted by Jerry “Boom Boom” Nadler and “Pencil Neck” Adam Schiff, “Let’s Overthrow The Government”? It has to be the best comedy that I have seen in years. I haven’t had this much fun since I knocked over my grandparents’ outhouse.

In the 1950s, at least Joe McCarthy could find communists. Dumborats couldn’t find Dorothy if they watched “The Wizard Of Oz.” Heck, they couldn’t even find Toto or the Wicked Witch of the West (not to be confused with Nutty Nancy Pelosi).

It seems everything we do, Democrats must monitor, restrict, regulate or tax — from breathing to procreating to eating meat to drinking sodas. Well, we know that they know best.

It happened again. We got stuck in the elevator. This time instead of a 10-minute stoppage, it was a protracted 50-minute event.

I started to feel the walls closing in and had what I would consider (had to say it), a “mini”-panic attack. OK, lesson learned. I now use the steps to negotiate the six floors.

I harken back to the words of my late father: “Never get into a car with strangers … unless they offer you candy.”

In this season of sharing, please remember to help me, Little Ralphie and poor little Greta Thunberg save the planet — it’s the only one with beer and wine.

From your cuddly curmudgeon ... Eddy O

Ed O’Connor, a former resident of Middletown and Lower Swatara Township, is an expatriate living in Chisinau, Moldova.