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Some lists Pennsylvania doesn’t want to be on: Ed O'Connor

By Ed O'Connor
Posted 3/29/17

As Longfellow wrote, “Into each life, some rain must fall.” Well, it has been falling here, on and off (mostly on) for seven weeks. In the four-plus years we have been here, I have never …

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Some lists Pennsylvania doesn’t want to be on: Ed O'Connor

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As Longfellow wrote, “Into each life, some rain must fall.” Well, it has been falling here, on and off (mostly on) for seven weeks. In the four-plus years we have been here, I have never seen it rain so much. I am starting to get webbed feet.
A report was just issued confirming my suspicion. In this time frame, Cuenca has experienced more rain than it has in the past 30 years. Plus, this is the coolest summer since we arrived.
We went from a drought-like situation and being able to literally walk across the rivers to the rivers being raging torrents. There were some landslides blocking roads and local flooding in low-lying areas.
You had record warmth in February. Of course, you have more politicians polluting the atmosphere with hot air than we have. But then I received a photo from my Middletown fan club showing the 20-inch snow you endured. Suck it up — spring is on the way. It must be. Didn’t your clocks just get advanced one hour? We don’t do that here.
Wow, I just realized that I haven’t listened to a single weather report since we arrived here in 2012.
Here are some more random thoughts:
• The Ecuadorian presidential election was held Feb. 19. To win, one of the candidates had to receive at least 40 percent of the vote and lead the closest opponent by a minimum of 10 percent.
There were four candidates running. The first-place finisher had 39.09 percent of the vote and the runner-up had 29.28 percent, hence, there was not a winner. On April 2, there will be a run-off election between the two top finishers and the one receiving the largest percentage of votes will be the new president. Gee, I hope those pesky Russians aren’t hacking the election here.
• February was an interesting month. Let’s see … there was the Millionaire Bowl LI. I saw the “LI” and thought they were playing the game in Long Island. It made no difference to me whose overpaid union criminals and thugs won.
I tuned in for the last quarter. It’s not fair! The team that won only led the game for one play. It’s not fair! We are going to have to change the rules … and there should just be participation trophies given … and we all know that one person isn’t “more valuable” than another. It’s not fair!
We are all the same. I’ll betcha the Russkies hacked into the Atlanta play book. I think an investigation is in order.
• Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow. There will be at least six more weeks of lib-tard protesting.
I have an idea how to disperse the protesters — wave job applications at them and they will scatter like frightened fawns.
On a January note: If it would have been called a job fair instead of the inauguration, how many protesters would have been there?
• There was Valentine’s Day. We went to a local restaurant for dinner and an evening of music. I got a floral arrangement for Olga. It had 15 roses surrounded by lavender orchids and white flowers — $25. One of the rose farms here would send 50 roses to anywhere in the United States for $80, and that included delivery.
• My favorite season kicked off (I guess that is an incorrect term for NASCAR) with the Daytona 500. It is so great to see the drivers, crews, wives, girlfriends, children and fans stand and put their hands over their hearts when the National Anthem is sung. One naturally doesn’t see lib-tards in attendance. It’s too American for them.
• It’s taken 70 years but I finally figured out why February is the shortest month — it has less days.
• A big “thank you” to the Press & Journal for the new website! I really like it! And for the first time in four years I can get the P&J online. It was so difficult before that I could not access the online edition using four search engines including a Russian search engine.
The Russians couldn’t get the P&J, but could get into the U.S. voting machines and the DNC (Delusional Nitwit Committee). Now that’s funny! It is so good to see the Russians getting the blame for everything now. After eight years, George Bush is finally off the hook.
• I calculated our cost of living for the past four years here in Cuenca. The four year monthly averages are:
Electricity/trash/public lighting/fire (one bill): $12.54
Water/sewer: $8.92
Propane for hot water, clothes dryer, stove and oven: $4.59
Internet and two cellphones: $31.78
Transportation: $19.90
Interestingly, since we moved to our new location two months ago, all the above monthly bills have decreased!
I’m really a fact and stat guy, and find many of these statistics very interesting and telling.
• I guess Pennsylvania deserves congratulations for all the recognition it has been receiving. Let’s see … at 52.8 cents per gallon, Pennsylvania now has the highest gasoline tax in the country, (we’re No. 1).
That must go hand-in-hand with Pennsylvania legislators being the second highest paid government body in the country.
Of all states, Pennsylvania ranks No. 4 as the most deadly state for cancer. Three Pennsylvania cities made the top 20 list of “least educated cities” in the United States — Lancaster, Reading and Warren (have to start paying those union teachers more).
Pennsylvania has the 10th highest paid teachers in the country but is No. 35 in ACT and SAT scores. Pennsylvania is the No. 8 state from which people are moving. Of the 50 cities in the United States with the worst air quality, Pennsylvania has seven. Harrisburg ranks No. 7 and Lancaster is No. 16. Pennsylvania is ranked No. 10 as having the worst roads in America.
OK, so much for the facts.
A recent study showed that expats are healthier and happier than those who remain in their native country.
Until later from beautiful Cuenca ... Eddy the Expat

Ed O’Connor, a former resident of Middletown and Lower Swatara Township, is an expatriate living in Cuenca, Ecuador.

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